blue screen of death. no blog again sorry

My OCD giggle

My OCD lol

Sorry I was gone from here guys.... PC issues. And please don't miss our Literacy Fest on the 29^th.

I have noticed a growing trend that is really irking me, people in decent medical health walking around, looking intelligent enough until out of their mouth comes a phrase like, “Oh you'll have to excuse me. That must be my OCD, Bi Polar, PTSD (fill in the blank.)” This growing trend isn't funny and it isn't kool. In my opinion, neither is denying a child who actually suffers from something medication for it. In my day that was called criminal neglect.

The reason I am so adamant about not using a mental disorder as opposed to an adverb or even, dare I say it, a misplaced modifier is because if you suffered from one of these disorders I seriously doubt you would take it so lightly.

My daughter suffers from OCD and her case is mild. If in school she was assigned a choice of four topics she would find herself unable to pick one. She would write on all four. Yet it was never good enough. She would have to rewrite the papers repeatedly even after she got the grade. To this day she hasn't stopped those reels of obsession. It is not uncommon for her to insert, “That paper I wrote on ___ I should have really used the word sardonic instead of sarcastic,” into an unrelated conversation. She has been graduated for 5 years and she is still rewriting those papers. They haunt her like some dark sin that needs rectified. My point is those reels are still playing in her mind every minute of every day.

She explained to me long ago that OCD means eight or nine reels playing continuously in your mind at once. I asked my shrink years ago about this disorder. His response was, “OCD is worse for the sufferer than having schizophrenia.” I felt terrible also for having told her for so many years, “Dammit! Would you just let it go and come to the present moment!” It would appear she couldn't help it.

Go and turn on every radio in a store to a different channel and turn the volume up as loud as it will go. Live with that truth for five minutes and tell me then, is it a joke? Imagine that noise in your head every minute for the rest of your life. Still funny?

That's my side of it,

Angel

www.streetlighthalo.comMy

Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned on FB

Everything I Ever Needed to Know I learned on FB

I have to admit first that I had been searching for a meaning to my life for a while. I was becoming increasingly a sad sack. Now however I am happy to report my life and mind-set are cured entirely. My unlikely savior? Face Book. In the midst of my depression I cam across a meme on FB. It had a lovely philosophical saying, “When life hands you lemons... add Vodka.” I had my answer. I was able to start drinking at every opportunity. It fixed everything... but then the detox program charged me what little I had had left of my savings. And since I got fired for drinking on the job... they repossessed my liver.

Again I was sad and feeling incomplete. I returned again to my Temple of Social Media as it were. Another meme dictated that I should think of all things in a more positive way... and the absolutely breath taking picture of a totally unrelated topic inspired me greatly. It made me a better person instantly. It said that I should just become whoever it was I idolized because they were inspirational for a reason. Along side of that was a picture of a cute puppy. I had found my answer... sadly... it didn't work out. Did you guys know that identity theft is a crime?

So after I finished serving my time I was ready to start a new life. I was ready to find my mate and settle down. I was at a loss on how to do exactly that. I searched my beloved internet for the answer to my prayers. The next meme I saw solved my romantic problems! It insisted that the object of my desires wanted greatly to be kissed more, held more and told that they are loved. I was unaware that the opposite sex prefers to know who you are first. Luckily the charges were dropped.

Sadly I found out after that I was dying. I have begun to worry about my immortal soul. But what worries me more is this... when I meet St. Peter will he inform me that I was denied entrance to Heaven because I didn't fwd to 20 people?

That's my side of it,

Angel

True Happiness

True Happiness? The real fun of being a shaman and non-denominational minister.....

Hi guys. I know my blog is very late again. I have been ill as usual except no the clock in my body dictates that I sleep from 7 in the evening to 1 in the morning, and being that I am severely allergic to coffee... well that's not fixing itself. Lol

I was planning on writing a silly thing until someone I know asked a question. Will this new (fill in the blank) make me happy? No. It really won't. Now before you start pointing the finger and saying nasty names at her for not knowing that remember this.... commercials, ads and commercial arts work for a reason. It's because people actually think if they have the right shoes, cars, house, social-standing (fill in the blank) they will be fulfilled. Remember that is why lottery tickets sell so incredibly well... if I just lived a life of leisure... that would fill the hole in my soul.

It is like the alcoholic mindset on a smaller but universally believed in scale. If I drink that wine... chicks'll dig me. It's fun in a bottle.

Here is my response to her...

 My true meaning, not to pop your bubble was if you can conceive it and believe it you will achieve it. There is no happy cure all. I believe the terrible times exist for a reason. They give us tools and help us define our character. They are learning experiences. Not just for us but for others in the same situation. That is what we use to make ourselves truly happy. Because that is how the soul feeds itself. If you want to feel happier, more content you will not find that in a book. Neither in a quick-fix or a name change or one of those trite and badly written self-help type things. Wanna get rid of the sickening hole inside? We have a phrase we use in AA that has never failed me once, "Become of use to God and his fellows” (speaking of recovering from addiction, without relapses.) THAT is where contentment and feeling comfortable in your own skin comes from. Service to others. Don't agree? See Taoism... the usefulness of what is, lies in what is not. See the Bible, Be ye a fisher of men or the story of the 2 alms. See Native lore 2 wolves ... the one you feed. Atheist maybe... see the studies of Galileo ... the universe does not revolve around us. Neither do I ever want it to.

If you are too stuck in your own mind, your own troubles, your own status... prepare to become miserable quickly. Whereas, if you think to yourself, “Self, I was in that situation once myself. Perhaps I can help this poor schmo along... or at least be empathetic since I was there once.” THAT is being of use. Do I mean giving advice and bailing everyone else's butt out? NOPE. I mean a feeling of isolation or of no one ever understanding leads to feelings that are much more dangerous. Simply telling someone that they are not alone and being there for them or volunteering your time to the cause of your choice after a while pulls us out of ourselves and out of darkness.

We all grow old and fat... that perfect figure is fleeting. Those lottery winnings... gone before you know what hit you. Social status and social climbing makes you look the fool as it also is temporary and fixes nothing. That drink that gives you life long friends... well the short explanation is... drinking buddies and true friends have a difference that is more vast then the Grand Canyon. Try throwing everything you've got into that career of yours, then tell me in your last breath whether or not you said, “The one thing I'll miss here is work.” Just sayin' lol

That's my side of it,

Angel

www.streetlighthalo.com

Repost huffing

This little girl in question died. 

Huffing, sniffing, dusting and bagging

A friend of mine called today and told me of a concern her neighbor had with her daughter... apparently the girl is huffing. She can't seem to get help and I informed my friend sadly that there is no non-medical detox. Just like with heroine addicts that require methadone in order to stop or they will die, huffing detoxes need to be watched by a qualified treatment center or medical doctor, or so I am told.

Now for those of us (like me) who are rather uneducated on the topic I will list a couple of definitions:

Huffing – when a chemically soaked rag is held to the face or stuffed in the mouth and substance is inhaled (usually gasoline)

sniffing – inhalant drug that can be done directly from containers, clothing, plastic bags or rags saturated with the substance or even from the product directly

bagging- putting spray paint in a bag and putting it over one's head

dusting - inhaling “computer duster” to get high. (Contrary to popular belief this is NOT air in a can)

Inhaling substances for a high has a lot of danger to it. Did you know it can cause cancer and leukemia? Have you ever heard of “Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome”? That is when the heart beat becomes erratic and rapid causing the user to go into cardiac arrest. That can happen the very first time you use an inhalant drug.

Just like alcoholism inhalant addiction is just that... an addiction. And just like with alcoholism an addict will go to any length to get their fix. Some will even spray the inhalant onto their clothes or soak clothing in the substance to be sniffed so they can carry their drug of choice for use later. Unlike alcohol this sufferers high will only last a few minutes, forcing the addict to keep huffing, sniffing or whatever to prolong their high.

As a parent myself I have to say here I would be stumped and without a clue if I had not done research on this topic for a friend. Today's drug paraphernalia is not the simple bong of yester-year. Today's parents have to look for soda cans, rags, clothing, plastic bags, paper bags... and the list goes on. It's quite frightening and over-whelming just reading the info and so I can certainly sympathize for that parent and of course the addict.

My advice to this woman would be... get her to an ER quickly and have her Baker-acted if you have to. This stuff is too scary to screw around with. Even as an addict myself I wouldn't want a high that kills you the first time. The attraction to that is way above my head. But then more then likely it is the exact same mind-set that we alkies have. Our friends died in car wrecks but it could NEVER happen to me... right? Know what? It does. Statistically 15% of suffocation deaths in the US are linked to inhalants... what makes that statistic even more tragic is that most inhalant abuse deaths are attributed to other causes and therefore remain unreported and hidden. Scary stuff!

That's my side of it,

Angel 

Promoting with a disability

I spent all day with my daughter handing out fliers for the Literacy Fest 2014. I found a few places that might want signings but no promises yet. However, I am in very poor health so by the time we got home it was straight to bed and I have been there ever since. The day is shot.

I am currently in the process of writing a proposal for funding for audio books. Dude! I hate writing proposals. It's too hard. I can't get my mind really around what they want. Anyone out there writing business plans I don't envy you!

Okay so my book is out in soft cover. I have an audio book contest going on for voice actors and the Lit Fest is in just a couple of weeks. So yes I'm swamped. It feels good to be needed but I'm not sure how much my body is going to let me do.

I'll bet my daughter is more frazzled. It seems like most places don't have wheelchair ramps. I think that is so unfair. Do you know the last place I lived actually refused to put a ramp in for my apartment? They were none too nice in telling me no as well. The place I bought this wheelchair didn't have a ramp. It did have like 1000 steps though. Funny thing you have to show your ID and sign if you're using a Rx from a doctor too. That was the only place close... so I got to walk a LOT of steps.

I was talking to a friend and she was sympathizing with me about my condition and how I've basically fallen through the cracks. Truth is as I told her I feel that God allows me to be in this chair so that some one else going into a chair can ask me what they're in for. And maybe also because people who say, “Well of course you can't. You're disabled,” will basically have to shut their mouths!

Secret.... SHHHHH! Secret …. if I can you can.... cuz I'm not that smart. Don't tell anyone.... I’m hoping they all mistake me for a freakin genius! SHHHHH!

Any way I would like to say to my friend Sandy.... thanks for helping me pull my head outta my arse! God bless and keep you... and I mean everyone! Because everyone of us has some kind of a disability!

That's my side of it,

Angel

www.streetlighthalo.com

Softcover and Kids' Stuff

Soft cover and Kids stuff...

Hey guys! My book Snapshots From Home; Stories From Dysfunctional High School is out in soft cover NOW! Hooray!!! If you're looking for it at the best price google the full book title and put softcover next to it. That's best when comparing prices.

Also my Literacy Fest is really not that far in the future! It's nearly March 29 already!

I was gone for a couple of days spending some time with my husband and his grandson came for a visit. Tyler and I made lots of crafts and had a wonderful time. We made a St. Patrick's Day snow globe. It was fun, we took a snow globe form and Tyler found a toy car (wooden) and we fist glued that down. Then we took some shamrock confetti and he put that in the actual globe part, then you just basically reassemble the form and Voila … lots of giggles and a really kool toy that none of his friends have.

You know they grow so fast. Next year he won't like crafts any more. He does like music right now though so I'm thinking of buying him a starter guitar for his birthday. I think he'd like that.

So today I am just swamped with work because yesterday my husband sent me and Sarah out for a girl's day at the salon. That was totally what I needed to just relax for a bit. Got my hair and face done for my event. Last week he took me shopping for a suit for my book tour, as I have only one decent dress and one tattered suit. I really have to say... at my age I look absolutely horrid in Armani (which is nice on my wallet) but I look awesome in Anne Klein. I guess I wasn't made on an assembly line because so many places on my body don't even match any more. Lol I am quickly becoming pear-shaped! Lol

I rarely spoil me because quite simply, it isn't cost-effective and I don't like wasting money on things that aren't practical. That's just me. It is nice to be spoiled once in a while though. Do something nice for yourself today. It's really relaxing. Beyond that I adore that you're spending your valuable time to follow my blog! Thanks!

That's my side of it,

Angel

www.streetlighthalo.com