Thursday, February 26, 2015

Unedited excerpt Knave of Hearts

I am busy polishing the silver. Trying to bake a decent store-bought quiche for guests, waiting for the caterer to call back and explain in terms I can relay to my husband, gently, as to WHY they have canceled last minute. I am waiting for the cruelty avalanche so I polish faster. The phone rings and my heart stops. He's calling to check on the caterer. DAMN! I have to answer by the third ring or else.

Second ring and I am trying to wipe the tarnish remover away, but my wrist hurts. I lunge upwards. I have to answer by the third ring! Silver smashes to the floor as I rise. A piece of the prized late Mother-in-law silver, the creamer pitcher smashes the Italian tile and bounces. I watch, mortified not able to breathe. Lunging for the phone as the creamer handle snaps off. I MUST answer by the THIRD RING!

The sugar-bowl follows suit, the handle of the top, cracking. It was his mother's prize possession! The phone goes quiet, my soul turns to ice. I look at the silver set and wince. Every crystal topper knob lies shattered, like me, like my life. Like my poor late brother's head. NO!

I beg the phone to still be ringing. I survey the damage, each frail, filigree handle has snapped at its source. Like my reality. Like my family tree this morning. This morning, in a way I lost a brother and a son simultaneously.

A dead tea set, a dead marriage, a dead brother, a long dead mother-in-law, a long dead heart. A murdered ring-tone and all that remains as I lay writhing on the floor, weeping over a destroyed material possession that I've never cared one wit about, is an immaterial fear of all that is, a regret and longing for what was, and a black tunnel of what will be. The nothing that accompanies the meeting with eternity that will mercifully come before the evening ends.

I read somewhere that the longest walk is the thirteen steps a condemned man walks to the gallows pole. That is entirely incorrect. Thirteen steps are easy if the torture in life was hellish enough. The longest walk consists of a thousand years that are condensed into the moments that make up one hour of the abusive marriage. That's because you walk those 13 steps fifty times a minute, but you never feel the noose. No freedom, no release, no merciful God or even Hell's flames to be traded for the much worse existence you will suffer in the next half hour. 13 steps, torture, repeat. 13 steps. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

I look to the golden Crucifix that hangs above the mantle. I hear over and over, “Eloij, eloij, (Why doest Thou desert me?)” And I scream in a blasphemous rage at the thickening, empty ringtone-free silence the most sacrilegious thing I can muster for the God that chose to ignore my martyrdom and deliver me from this earthly persecution as He damn well promised!

“JACK! I am praying you'll save me, one more time. AMEN! AMEN YOU HOLY BASTARD!”

and as the silence of selling my soul seems to build... the phone rings. ***

New show!

Saturday, February 21, 2015


We are working on a WHOLE lot of books now as bookfair season approaches. Everybody is in crunch mode... double projects, triple work. Shows will be further apart, but the books will multiply. I am working on a secret... shhh secret for the website. Kids'll love it... stay tuned!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Here be Jokes!

This one is teaching kids how humour works! Teaches, irony, satire, puns, homonyms, all of which are elements of literature. Plus hopefully, they'll stop with the Knock knock jokes! lol


Saturday, February 14, 2015

Ginormous News!

Hey guys! I've been sick, but never fear! I have been working too. So.... lots of enormous announcements!!! Yay!

Well … you know our little show? Apparently we have fans we didn't know were watching. We have caught the attention of some television stations. Color me embarrassed! My wigs were all on crooked! Lol! I don't know if it will amount to anything but we were viewed by not 1, not 2 but 4 count 'em 4 stations! LIKE OMG!

Also we have such an excellent staff that we have decided to... drum roll please

(insert drum roll)

BRANCH OUT! That's right. You heard it here first. In a couple of months we will be opening two smaller, affiliate houses. Hmmmmm.... I wonder what that will be like?

The little Christmas storybook I wrote, “The Schnoozles” is … how shall I say? Evolving.
SHHHHH! Mum's the word! Wink! Wink! Nudge nudge! Bob's your uncle.

More books, shows, surprises and just plain nuttiness to come! Stay tuned...

That's my side of it,

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Personal Updates

I have been sick for... ever! I can't eat or drink anything without serious repercussions. I'm so tired, 3 days sick, 1-2 sleepless nights trying to play work catch-up. Repeat. This is my life now for over a month... and nothing doctors are doing is helping in the least.

The wheelchair is almost always now. No transfer. Soon I'll be in it for good and I don't know why but it terrifies me. I keep falling. I fell and hit my head, broke the shower door off the hinge and hit my head pretty bad. Sarah was mortified.  Dizziness is a constant. I simply no longer function.

I don't know what will happen now. Even with interns I am only one person. Without me nothing gets done, because I have no one else that teaches my interns what I know. I am 4 books and 3 shows behind... and the schoolboard is waiting for our submissions.

Book Fair and tradeshow season is coming. I am so worried. Not certain what to do actually. I feel a novel coming on, but no strength to sit up and write it. i am between the restroom and the bed now 24/7. I know people will tell you when you're in a bad situation, "There are so many out there worse off than you are," and while i know this to be true I also know those people being worse off... doesn't make what I'm going through suck any less.

That's my side of it,

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Here be Dragons

The textbook will be available at Amazon soon.

Coming up next we have The Crossroads Paradox... A Spiritual Journal with photos by the incomparable Kasandra Saenz

Also The Dog Without a Shadow, a children's book like none you've ever seen.

Oh and speaking of Dragons... they come in different forms, so if you're a fan of Fantasy, stay tuned...

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Really sorry

Way too sick to blog. I'm going to have to go the docs again. I'm not better. I'm worse