Monday, September 30, 2013

I've been busy writing a sequel, but I think my book that's coming out might be painfully short. So I am thinking I may need these few stories to plump it up when my editor sees the actual word count.

A very long time ago a friend of mine had a daughter who was a journalist. She said of my masterpiece novel (not published) that “She's not a real writer. She's just a story-teller.” I shrank in size from that remark. I allowed her to define my abilities.

A harmless joke brought all that self-doubt back. Every rejection slip, every insult just piled on me all over again. Why? I have been winning awards on my writing since I was in 2nd grade.

You know to my people (Native Americans) the story-teller is sacred. So why my ego gets so deflated by one remark made another lifetime ago is beyond me. If it were not for the story-tellers who would remember their ancestry, lore, legends and oral histories? This I know yet still it hurts.

So I will tell you of another story, my own personal stock. When I was in 3rd grade I had an art teacher Mrs. Armada. I don't know why but she just hated me. One day she asked us all to draw a picture of what we did over the weekend. I drew a bright raincoat for myself and a huge snoopy umbrella. I showed myself jumping in a puddle as that had been my weekend.

She had us all show our work and then stood me up in front of the class (again) and said to all.... Angel drew herself playing in the rain and Kirsten drew herself playing in the sun. Is it possible that it rained at Angel's but not at Kirsten’s?

The whole class answered no and began to laugh (as usual) as Mrs. Armada announced that I would never learn to draw because I was stupid.

It upset me so much, that angry repetition every week in art class until I reached 6th grade and moved to the next school... that I literally could not stop drawing. I won every art contest I ever entered just about. I have art work and poetry that has been to the Vietnam Wall and is archived to go into the Vet's museum when it is built.

I am only blogging about it to you because well...
Do you think I should thank her. Or is it more of a "Hey Mrs. Armada... Nanny nanny boo boo sort of thing?
That's my side of it,

Still nothing new. Working on it! xxoo

Friday, September 27, 2013

Alkies, CODAs and ACOAs

My mind is with a friend tonight, my heart too. So many people in this world haunted with the actions of addicts. Suffering at the hands of a loved one. As an addict let me just say.... don't take it personal. And I know you'll respond that they slighted you and of course it's personal.

We as addicts don't think like you. Not even in recovery. We don't see anything more then the hand over our eyes. And if you try to tell us what to do and how to handle it (even when you are 200% correct) expect us to revolt. We have to show you that WE are in charge (even when we are hiding it and you don't see it.) We are out to prove it and it takes YEARS sometimes to stop that behavior. Addiction is a disease that can't be cured, only maintained. They say in AA that the further away you are from your last drink, the closer you are to your next.

And now you are saying, “What a defeatist attitude! It's a wonder anyone ever sobers up!” It isn't defeatist. It's a reminder. It reminds me that even at 23 years sober I CAN NOT EVER take another drug or drink. I will never be able to drink like other people.

My sister says the funniest thing, “Why can't you just have one?” I always think she means like one case. So you see there is no real cure. And be assured that as an alcoholic / addict, if there were one magic pill that cured me.... I'd take four! That my fine friend is not my nature. Truth... that is my mindset.

Alcoholism is an allergic reaction coupled with a mental obsession. Seems easy right? Just don't take a drug or drink and change your mindset. Easy! NO. If I told you to bow down and worship a piece of toast because that was God... would you believe me? Of course not. So you see you can't change your mindset either.

Now you will say... this person is robbing me, stabbing me, violent, hurting me, abusive and cruel. What the hell do I do?

As an addict myself I assure you that staying and care-taking is really only enabling me to use. You can't decide for me that I am an alkie. ONLY I can realize that. The truth is that your best bet is to walk away. Why am I saying that? Because sometimes you just have to love someone enough to do the hard thing.

If it is a child don't abandoned them. Get them in treatment. However, if this is a spouse that refuses help... cut them out of your life. Why? Because we can't hit bottom until we quit digging. If you really want to save us my advice is, save yourself first. That's not selfish. That's survival.

Alcoholism is an incurable disease. I can't take having it personally any more than my husband can be blamed for having diabetes., I suggest you save yourself, go to some open meetings and learn how deep it goes. Then find yourself a good support group and learn to heal.

We'll straighten up whenever we decide we don't have another drink left in us... and not before. It's not your fault and it's certainly not your responsibility. The average alcoholic I am told has high-intelligence. We'll figure it out. And if you truly love us, you let us figure it out on our own.

That's my side of it,

You could mention 'tough love' when dealing with a practicing addict. We tend to love them to death when we can tough love them to sobriety. Do not know why you need my permission to print the truth.

And Happy

Great Stuff and silliness

Hey dudes,
If you saw my amazing book cover in my last blog you will know I am all psyched up about it. Kathleen did that too! Amazing! She offers lots of services and is worth checking out. So in case you're interested here is her contact info:
Kathleen J. Shields Website & Graphics Designer
Phone: (830) 515-8187
Author: "Hamilton Troll" Children's book Series
Author - Children & Young Adult Books

Wow! She's busy huh?

Also I have just finished that Rival Gates book I was reading. Remember how phenomenal I said it was going to be? Well I was right in saying that. I was not in any way disappointed. It was entitled “Quest for the Red Sapphire” and it was epic! If you like a good fantasy series pick up the first book here:
Plus I found his website for you:

Wait! I have more goodies for you. If you like arts and crafts as I do, try this out:

Also we have a lot of new books coming out at my publishers. So if you need something to read or gifts for the kids for Christmas:

Okay so since I have no real news for you, here are some silly things to start your day, or end your day as the case may be:

To do:
1. Buy your dog some scrubs and when your friends question you tell them that Dr. Doolittle has finally had “the operation.”
2. When you take a shower leave the shampoo in your hair, then go to work and try to convince your boss that the “soap-dispenser” look is the new metro-sexual.
3, Order a pizza with extra cheese and double anchovies, then ask them to hold the crust.
4. Go to Burger King and insist that you want “the filet mingon meal deal..”
5. Make some posters for “Adopt a cotton-ball” day. Insist to random strangers that cotton-balls are people too!

That's my side of it,

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Wow! I guess web site take a lot longer to build then I realized. I want a lot of features as well.... links where kids can get help, info for parents, printables for teachers and that sort of thing. She said it will take around 25 pages. WOW! I told her to be certain that even I can navigate it. Apparently making things simple is quite complicated. I am pleased with what I see so far I must say. I highly recommend Kathleen's Graphics to anyone who needs a website built. Prices are competitive and she maintains them as well.

Any way, I don't want anyone losing interest so here is a bit of humor to keep you entertained...

Things I don't get

1. When speaking of an invisible, imaginary friend is it proper to say “he's not all there” or is that rude?
2. When I pay five bucks for a bag of cookies why do I get $2 worth of cookies and $3 worth of air?
3. Why is that my dog completely believes that cat's are furry squeak toys and that the toilet bowl is the fountain of youth?
4. When studies say 4 out of 5 people agree.... doesn't that just prove that the fifth guy is kind of argumentative?
5. Why don't gyms offer program for people who get all of their exercise by jumping to conclusions?
6. If Freud said that laughter is the best medicine, doesn't that kind of mean that only those of us who are nuts are actually sane by text book standards?
7. Why do people always say, “Drive safe” when you leave? Do they think you are planning to veer of a cliff instead?
8. Why do they say 'this will go on your permanent record' when everyone uses CD's now?
9. Why is it that the people who package hotdogs can count, but the people who package the buns can't?
10. When my mother asks if she's fat is it truly impolite to fake an aneurysm?
11.. Is it considered rude to let the voices in my head talk to telemarketers?
12. Why is a duck's opinion of me always based on whether or not I have bread?
13. Why is it that extra money is always what I had before the car broke down?
14. If you get, 'a penny for your thoughts' shouldn't people with ADHD be filthy rich by now?
15. Why is it when a smoker loses their cigarettes we don't worry but if we lose our lighter the world comes to an end?

That's my side of it,


Monday, September 23, 2013

This blog will return in a week or two.... with.... drum roll please..... A WEBSITE!!!!!!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

We are going soon to buy an artificial Christmas tree that lights up by itself. I want the huge and bushy one that looks like a real tree. You know the kind.... the one you take a good four hours to assemble and then ask your family, “Dude do you think these screws were important?” You know the kind that you stuff back in the too tiny box and then stand around and debate what to do with the other 500 branches that won't fit. You know... the kind with all the instructions written in German. You know that kind? That's what I want!

I want traditional ornaments too! Comprende? Those hugely expensive and over priced ornaments and decorations that you spend another four hours of your life getting on there just right... and then the dog knocks the whole #$%^ thing over? Yes! A tree all decorated in shiny glassy ornament that you deliberately choose in Hanukkah colors simply to confuse your guests! I want that!!!!

I want a traditional Christmas... you know the kind? The kind where you have enough lights in your yard to make a runway for a lear jet? The kind where you buy Christmas lights for the roof and then realize you have to go back to the #@$% Walmart to buy a ladder? You know the kind of Christmas when you go to put up the lights and after 20 attempts and 5 spills off the wobbly Walmart ladder you realize the outside outlet didn't work? The kind where by July your lights are still up because hey... Christmas will get back here eventually! That's the kind of Christmas I want.

Plus I want about a zillion gifts for the grandbaby. You understand me? I want to fist fight other people for toys that he will out grow in 2 months. You see? Those kinds of presents... the kind you sit up all night trying to assemble only to find that it needs batteries and has a million stickers that still need to be put on? Yeah man tradition! There's nothing in the world that compares to the work you put in and the money you spend just to see the grandkids playing with the boxes! I NEED that!

I want that gorgeous feeling on Christmas morn when my kid opens her 58 presents and then utters the 3 words that change every mother's life. Those three sacred words... “Is that ALL?”

I want to wade for days through bags of discarded wrapping paper. And wonder why it ever occurred to Nanna to crochet me an orange and baby puke green bikini. I want to cook and bake for weeks on end only to have my relatives criticize every last homemade cookie and candy! I want that so much!

I also want every detail because I want a train under my tree for the kids. I want that certain one. I want that highly over-priced, last one in stock have to put it on lay-away or sell the kid in order to afford it. You know the one I'm talking about? I want the one that takes almost 3 hours to assemble. There is not one moment like the Chiristmasy moment when you find out it only runs backwards! That's a real Christmas.

And the very best part? When at the end of the night you sit quiet, engorged and you look at that tree. And you think about when you had nothing. When you were practically homeless and just starting a family together. When you lived in the slums and your first Christmas tree together looked more like a deformed version of the burning bush with very few decorations. And you remember the dollar store slices of ham that had to serve as the Christmas feast. You remember those dollar store presents that you could barely afford and how very much they meant... especially when he looked at you softly and said, “Everything's perfect.” When you finally remember that you went through all of this to celebrate the story of the struggle, and keep that fire alive in your heart because God how you love this little family. And then you softly say, “Happy Birthday God.” I really, REALLY want that!

That's my side of it,

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Something to cheer you
I am leaving on a romantic trip this weekend and that has put me in a very good mood. So since I am in a very silly mood today let's just see what I can come up with. If this blog is painfully short, I do apologize writing humor is extremely difficult.

Fun things to do while car pooling:
1. At every stop light ask every driver in the next car for Grey Pupoun.
2. When your cell phone rings try to convince the other passengers that your dog is calling you. When you hang up sing loudly, “Dem bones!”
3. . When you stop to pay for gas, ask the guy behind the counter to point out which of the pumps have the lowest cholesterol and which are organic.
4.. Place the radio dial to an AM talk show. Then ask everyone to sing along.
5.. At every STOP sign get out of the car and try to debate the sign into changing it's opinion on your mobility.
6.. Two words, “Marco Polo.”
7. Hold a survey as to why people will run a dangerous red light yet stop for ducks.
8. Announce a quick field trip to see the local hospital and then make a siren sound... preferably loud and repeatedly.
9. For no good reason slam on the brakes and yell, “Sorry guys! Ninja crossing!”
10. Arm all passengers with squirt guns so that you can tell the window washers you have self serve!

Also here is a Christmas card I painted:  

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I am very excited about the piece I wrote for the writing contest that the publishers at Alpha Wolf are throwing for the Short Story Collection to be published... I want to say March, but don't hold me to it. As I've said in the past I feel the art of the short story is dying an I very much want it to be revived.

I remember reading in Literature class the works of O. Henry, Poe, Exuprey, Dahl and begging God Himself to let me write like that! Now I'm not saying that I don't adore Lewis, Moore, Hawthorne because I genuinely do. How ever it seems harder to me to evoke an emotion with less of a word count then it does with a novel. To me it makes it more powerful.

Take Dahl's Lamb to the Slaughter for instance. In the story he depicts a killer's reaction to finding out her husband has been unfaithful. While we as a society know that murder is wrong, we also feel that justice is not. In this way he gets us rooting for the killer and then blindsides us with a surprise ending. Yet the story itself I believe was less than 3 pages in its entirety. Very hard to do.

In contrast when Tellez write of his barber in Lather and Nothing Else in less then 10 pages we are practically begging the main character not to spill the blood of a man we well know deserves it.

The art of the short story is basically evoking every human emotion in as few words as possible and in a few scenes making it all make sense to the reader. This is no easy task. In example Hurst's The Scarlet Ibis shows us a handi-capped boy and how meaningless the child seems to those around him, yet in death the child is nearly all-powerful. His death brings meaning to those around him and colors everything in the author's world and sequentially the readers world.

I write micro-minis. I get 3 pages or less to do all of that! Do you think I need a raise? (LOL)

That's my side of it,

Angel xxoo  

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Hey guys,
Took a couple of days off. Hope that's okay. My handsome husband is taking me away for another honeymoon.... so this weekend no blog. But hey he is the only one for me and in my last moments in this realm, I doubt seriously I'll be wishing, “If only I'd spent more time blogging!” lol
So I'll be away and happy.

OK so Alpha Wolf Publishing is having a writing competition for a medal called, “Leader of the Pack” and I already have my entry in. They are going to put everyone's short stories into a compilation. So I think mine is really good and I hope you will pick it up when it comes out. We have some pretty amazing writers and publishers there. So basically there will be a little something for every one.

Okay so I have a lot of promo ideas too that are getting me excited as well. The website... or at least finding someone local that I am comfortable with to build and maintain it has kind of hit a lull. Will let you know later what happens there.

I have to say that I love the work now matter how much it piles up however you must understand that I am severely disabled and some days... there will just not be a blog as it does take a tremendous toll on my body to sit here and write for too long. Do me this kindness and forgive.

I'm pretty excited because tomorrow Ron is coming for his painting lesson too. He is very kindly and good company! I have to confide that I never wanted to live in Texas but now that I'm here I have to say... TEXAS ROCKS!!!!!!

That's my side of it,
Angel xxoo

Monday, September 16, 2013

SSI and tomorrow the dentist so.... I will blog in a day or 2.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Today we worked on how the book will be promoted and had a lot of really awesome ideas. The website should be ready by late October/ early November. Also my friend is putting me in touch with the woman here who runs the Crisis Centers. She wants to see if my stories could be used some how as a tool there. That's exciting.

Even with all of that incredible stuff going on... I miss my Medicine Man God rest him. I know he's still there but I so want to hear his voice again. There is a great storm coming and storms remind me so much of him that sometimes it hurts. I can feel his power in them. So in his honor I leave you tonight with a thought, something he taught me long ago...

Life is not about waiting out the storm, Life is about dancing in the rain!!!
Old Man Laughing Bear Jones

I believe he made a really good point there. What do you think?

That's my side of it,

Angel xxxooo  

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Hi guys. I am working on a new story... just a story and I am using my feeble sense of humor so watch out world!

Tomorrow is an important day for me too as my friend is coming by and we are going to see what ideas we can come up with to lay the promotional road to the school boards in the area. She has lived here all her life and seems to be just the nicest person and best ally a girl could have.

I am also wondering with no release date as of yet, when is the best time to approach the book stores in the area about signings. In Florida the rule was about 6 months but as I see so many businesses going under now, I wonder if that is still the case.

While mine is an e-publisher, we still do print books, which is nice. I want something I can hold in my hand. I think a lot of readers really do. Not everyone has a kindle.

I must also take in my friends in other states as well. Perhaps a few of them can help run small promotions for me as well.

In addition to all of that I also want to do “teaser” readings at the local libraries. I want my book out there. My sponsor says I will be rich and famous some day! LOL

While that is very nice, I didn't write the book for that reason. I actually want my book to be of use to teens who find themselves in situations they can't seem to resolve. Even if they aren't detered, at least they might not feel so alone. That's very important to me!

I will let you guys know when I get a date for availability. I'll let you guys know first!

That's my side of it,

Angel xxoo  

Friday, September 13, 2013

Wow! I'm excited. My book might come out earlier then expected. Not certain of course, but excited at the prospect just the same.

I've been reading Rival's novel and in it he touched on the subject of PTSD. It is not just a soldiers disease. I know of 2 abused women that have been diagnosed with it as well. It can pop it's head up to anyone and so I thought we might for informational purposes look at a few of the symptoms. OK?

I couldn't find anything for anyone other then vets, but here is a link to a test:

The truth is women and abused children, any one really who has been through a traumatic event in which they felt endangered often can end up with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is important to me to acknowledge when I have some form of problem in my own life because my family's quality of life is directly affected by my own.

I myself took the test and it seems a reliable ruler at least. The important thing I think is NOT TO take the results of an online quiz as a real diagnosis. However if you are answering yes to those questions it's better to be safe then sorry and to seek the opinion of professionals.

Just like in AA... if you refuse to acknowledge a problem, the problem accelerates and denial does NOT erase symptoms either.

One more thing I just wanted to mention, my good friend Jennifer started a club on FB which I really thought was a nice idea. The group is themed Random Acts of Kindness. Check it out.
Here's the link:

That's my side of it,

Angel xxoo  

Thursday, September 12, 2013

i am getting ill.... blog is on hold for a few days.
Angel xxoo

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

You know how lonely and over-whelming it feels to worry about the people in the world that you love the most? Y'know how even a little thing becomes huge when it is the one you love? My husband's having some tummy-troubles!

I just thought I would take this chance to tell you a little bit about the love of my life... He is the most gentle, loving, warm and nurturing person I have ever met. He cheers me on, backs me up and a lot of times... A LOT OF TIMES... carries me through. He is so very handsome and witty. He is kind and generous. He is, to me, the very face of love.

There was this moment on our first anniversary. We were down town and we usually have it all to ourselves... but this year there was a festival. Every street and restaurant was packed to over-flowing. Any way he took me to this elegant restaurant... soft music, linen tablecloths, rose pedals on the table. There were a zillion people (not the quaint rendevous he'd hoped for.) There was noise and upper-crusties hobb-knobbing with other upper- crusties. There were waiters and chaos.... yet there was this one moment … I looked into his eyes and I saw the way he was looking at me... and all that stuff just disappeared and in all the universe at that moment the only thing that existed was us.

If you have never had that I pray you will some day!

So basically again... tell your loved ones you love them every day. Is there really any reason not to?

Well actually I believe I've shared enough about me

That's my side of it,

Angel xxoo  

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

More writing tips and a bit of fun:

OK so today I thought it might be fun to talk about heroes and villains. Well the truth is that most people don't really like to read a super-hero arch-type when they pick up the novel. If they wanted that... they'd pick up a comic book. What I should really say here is that people want a character that the reader can relate to, which is why even Superman has kryptonite.

It is important to give a main character some weaknesses or frailties. Why? Because that tends to create a charter that people can relate to. Hence the rising popularity of anti-heroes. Now you don't really have to go that far or even make your hero a vigilante or a weakling or any thing like that, one lingering fear or the flashback to the time they did something wrong will work. Everyone has flaws. AND the thing that keeps a novel interesting to me the reader is that you have a hero that I can safely understand and back. Also if a hero is too perfect I am not going to be able to believe in him in the least, at which point I will get bored and put down your book.

Now you are probably saying to yourself “Damn Angel, if he's just some random guy like me, why should anyone follow him?” That's exactly why! That seems very difficult doesn't it? People argue with you right now, don't they? Me too. However if the cause is just they will follow just the same. The cruelest person on the planet likes to think of him/her self as just. So the cause your hero is facing must be somewhat righteous.

“Wow Angel, that's hard. How do you do that?” well simple.... make everyone hate your villain to the extent that they want to see him get his pay back. No matter how you may feel about politics and politicians, if someone destroys your homeland, and your homeland wants pay-back, you will most likely get behind that cause. Like wise if your villain is abusing orphans or swindling old, homeless ladies that remind you of Nanna... he won't be very likeable. Most people follow a hero in order to:
1. feel heroic and
2. to see the villain get an ass-whooping.

Another good tip is that people want to learn a little info while they are being entertained, but they don't want to become bored either. People don't want to read a fact sheet or take a crash course to understand your book. The best way to teach something in a novel is to let your reader learn it while the characters do. This is usually done with the insertion of lesser characters... in example... the private eye's snitch or the imprisoned scientist. OK so those are the tips today. Since they got so many page-views I might post a few more at a later date.

OK so since you've all been so very good... another bit of my silly side....

Things I don't get:
1. If people watch TV to get away from reality.... then why are there reality shows?
2. If zombies are dead, then why are they always hungry?
3. Is a pessimist a pessimist because he knows when he gets to heaven an optimist will be there?
4. If people who eat “gluten-free” products are allergic to grains, then what's in their bread?
5. Why do scientists spend half their lives proving something and the other half of their lives trying to disprove it?
That's my side of it
Angel xxoo

PS. I have a staff meeting tomorrow, so next blog will be the day after.  

Monday, September 9, 2013

I am toying with the idea of writing another troubled teen book after “Snapshots From Home comes out, but I'm not certain as I am already working on another story book, and I'm doing the illustrations myself. That's plenty... I was already inundated with projects already.

If you're on the web looking for Alpha Wolf right now you won't find them, site's down as we are getting a new domain or something. The new site promises to be better than the last. I have a BUNCH of work in front of me for the “Snapshots From Home” book as I want printables but I want a certain kind. I'll need the kind that are checklists for social issues... sort of like the domestic abuse checklists that they give to women in shelters. There really aren't a lot of those readily available. They don't seem to make many of them for teens.

When my website is ready to go up I will want printables for every issue... but that doesn't look promising. So I came to a sort of compromise and have set about linking to helpful pages and articles. Ala teen, AA, NA, and a myriad of others that are related to the issues in the book.

I want to link kids to places that they can get help and I also want it to be feasible for parents to be able to check for useful information. Parents get just as lost as kids do, especially when it comes to parenting. I ought to know. I am still looking for the right way to raise mine and she's already grown. (lol)

I think I'll also want a separate place on my site to post my artwork. But remember my own website is months away yet so don't get too excited. Okay?

Oh! We have a new dog and we are trying to train her. She's a lab-mix and so pretty. She was in the pound for over a year and she just thinks that earning a treat is about the dumbest idea when after all I could just hand them to her!

Well as I warned you, my blogs are getting shorter as I have so much in front of me at the moment. I must be off to paint. I am very pleased with the way they are coming out as of late.

Any ideas for my website are welcome. And I do encourage comments as well.

That's my side of it,
Angel xxoo  

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Here's the picture I finished finally. I am planning in the future to write and illustrate another children's story book. I want to spend less time on this in order to focus more on that as I am after a Caldcolt medal. I very much would like to have something prestigious like that that I myself have achieved. That would be the bomb dot com, as they say. So my blogs will be slightly shorter for a bit.

My book, “Snapshots from Home” will be for teens of course. I am not really certain how to promote the story books though except through medals. I have not yet received word as to when “The Dog Without A Shadow” will be released. But then again that just depends on when the illustrator is done really as there are rarely rewrites with story books.

I should be receiving word from my editor about rewriting “Snapshots,” relatively soon though I believe as the release date is February as far as I know.

I am reading a novel right now by another author at Alpha Wolf Publishing. The author's name is Rival Gates, I am only to chapter 2 and I can already tell you that this young man is a phenomenal writer. His book doesn't move at the super-quick pace as say a Hickman/ Weiss fantasy but I am already so worried about the dangers that might befall his protagonist that all I can say is, “The boy can write!” I am cheering for his general and getting this very vivid look at the human condition. Most especially in so much as how a man commanding armies could still be turned into a ball of putty by his mother... it gives me a real kick when a writer can make a point like that. Once a character is real, I am turning pages... and quick!

It will take me a while to finish this novel though as my workload piles up before me and the whole Ms. Domesticity thing weighs down. I also have a lot of bureaucratic crap weighing on me right now as my condition is so rare that the Federal Government has decided for me that I am no longer disabled. Well hooray for me. Oooops.... someone forgot to tell my wheelchair!

I am on pins and needles right now waiting for the editor to send me my proofs and such. It's like well … Winnie the Pooh. What I mean to say is.... have you ever read the book, “The Tao of Pooh?” it is enlightening to say the least... not that I am having a Zen moment. No by no means!

In the book the author interviews Pooh and asks him in the space of a year which moment is his favorite moment. To which Pooh replies that it is when he opens his Christmas present... but it is not the gift itself that gives the opening of the thing its magic. It is the second BEFORE he opens it that holds the magic of the gift. This is very true.

Well I'm off to create a story and build an ark. LOL you'll find out when the book comes out!

That's my side of it.
Angel xxoo

Saturday, September 7, 2013

I'm spending a lot of time working now that. Alpha Wolf Publishers has given me such a huge opportunity by publishing 2 of my books, that I am trying my best to become indispensable!
I am wondering today about the school systems here. I want to approach the middle schools and high schools with my book if at all possible. I am wondering how long it takes to present something to the actual school boards here. Does one make an appointment here... and if so when. Approaching schools is much easier when you work in the schools... but that was so long ago, that I haven't any more connections.

It seems like just yesterday that I was chasing kindergartners around in break-neck high-heels, now just getting to the bathroom without help is a feat in and of itself. We probably wouldn't have purchased this house had it not been for this wheelchair not fitting through most hallways and doors. It seems only yesterday I was running beside a bicycle teaching my daughter to ride a bike. I remember walking 9 miles a day... wasn't that just yesterday? No, it was 10 years ago that this disability started eating my strength and chewing up my spinal chord. 10 years... has it been so long?

I get very angry with myself every day. When I had those abilities why was I not thankful for them? Why was I not grateful enough? In truth... I never even thought of my legs once. I figured I suppose that walking was a given. That as long as I stayed fit the boogey-man would never catch up to me. Perhaps I was trying to outrun a disease that turned out to be faster than I was. Or perhaps this disease was just waiting in the bushes ready to pounce all along but it was so well-hidden that I never thought for a moment that it would be able to truly strike. Certainly I was fit! Certainly I was active enough to outsmart the thing that put me in leg-braces when I was 4.

I was walking at 6 months and the doctors said that that was certainly all that was wrong with my legs. Specialist after specialist proclaimed it. And once I was able to properly walk... there was no keeping me down. I never stopped for rest. Perhaps somewhere inside my mind I knew that time was running out, although I highly doubt it!

I would see people in wheel-chairs and I would feel so sorry for them. After a quick “There but for the grace of God go I,” I would put them out of my mind. SO selfish, so blind. I was young and immortal! No terrible thing would ever befall me! But I was wrong and time was running out.

I don't want you to get the idea that I am all, “Woe is me,” because I'm really not. I have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams! I have a perfect house! I have an incredibly brilliant daughter. I have a gorgeous and loving husband, 2 book contracts. I am blessed to the point that if I actually tried to list them all here there wouldn't be enough room on the web!

I just want you to think for one minute...Have I been grateful for my abilities today? If the answer is “No,” then there is a simple exercise that can help. Gimmee 5. 5 things that you are thankful for today... name 5. I have shared my 5 and now it is your turn.

That's my side of it,
Angel xxoo

Friday, September 6, 2013

Vets now, Vets then, and Freedom
Another author complimented my book! It really made me smile. Y'know what else made me smile? Painting all day... however the canvas is huge and it isn't even close to done yet. But if you are very good, I will post it here when it is done. It's a gift for my neighbor Jen. She is a whirlwind of blessing to me! She misses her son who is in California. He is a US Marine, Busying himself like many of us praying fro those of our troops who are deployed.

I pray for them too, as do most of us, so I totally get that.. I know how war destroys our boys and their families as well. I know it balls to bones because I watched my Nanna wait for a son she knew wasn't coming home from Vietnam.

So I have a poem here (one of the ones archived to go into the Vietnam museum when it opens.) It has won awards... sure. But it was never about awards for me. Just as I am certain that it wasn't about awards for all the heroes that fight and fall every day.

So many have fallen since this country began. Some that have lived and made it home confided in me that they wished they hadn't. So many injured, so many dead. And so many families destroyed in the name of war. And after living with my Nanna and her pain all I could feel was the waste of it all.

When our boys came home from Vietnam they were spit on and called, “Baby killers” what a horrible thing for one human being to do to another. Especially one who just risked life and limb to protect the freedom of speech.... the very right used so heinously against them when they returned. They were denied jobs sometimes, housing sometimes. Why? These people were heroes! Yet they were smote by their very own after seeing such horrors that you and I could never imagine in our worst nightmares.

They were plucked from the very bowels of hell then brought home to a country, that they had just defended that didn't want them or were oblivious to their suffering. For them promise.... PROMISE... never to do that to another one of our troops. I swear. Do you?

The cool thing about Americans is once we've screwed up, we try to learn from it. So in that vein this year when you're filling out your Christmas cards, buy an extra card and address it to:

A recovering American Soldier
c/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Avenue
NW Washington DC 20307

And now the poem:
Left Behind
Kiss good bye,
Soft Lullaby,
It brings gentle sleep no more,
And pray away those teary eyes,
For Daddy's gone to war.

Cease this silent suffering,
Of soul in restless wait,
For none have filled my lonely arms,
Since war took you away.

Last night I heard your mother cry,
In tears no one could see,
My eldest son
Put down your gun,
and come home safe... to me.

And Christmas goes,
And comes again,
And I long still to be near you.
And I shall find no solace in,
The fact you died a hero.

Angel Dunworth

Do what you can do for your fellow man today. It doesn't matter if they have served or not. Try your hardest to be kind on a daily basis. That stranger might be a vet, the child of a vet, a Gold Star Mother, you never really know do you?

But in a way we are all fighting for freedom, freedom from oppression, freedom from bullying, freedom to just co-exist in peace. Some one died for these freedoms. So please today... would you mind very much paying it forward... for them?

That's my side of it
Angel xxoo

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Here is an unedited original story from the book, as promised!
It was just one of those nights where you don’t know where you fit. I have a lot of those.
I’m not a jock or a rocker or a brain. I’m not a PC geek or a gamer or a groupie of any kind. I’m just a guy who is quiet and laughs in a soft way. I like what I like and none of it is “over-board”. I’ve never gotten over-board crazy about anything. Not even girls… I like them well enough and some more then others, but I’m not going to spout poetry or something.
So I was at this restaurant with a bunch of guys from the school after the big game. Everyone hangs out there.
I like the games okay but I like the pizza better. I have a few friends… not too many, but they are more like people I met. I go to the pizza joint after the games and I cruise for a connection. I want to connect with someone… anyone. I want to feel like a real person instead of a voyeur existing in the shadows, watching life from afar. It is very lonely in the shadows.
I walk here and there viewing the groups. Jocks are here. Brains are in the corner, geeks are at the far right, gamers and groupies are at their own tables too. I don’t fit anywhere. I look for a place to sit and I end up at the counter again with the rebels and misfits… an outcast for all time.
I stuff down the cheesy grease-ball in front of me and I down my cola. I walk to the restroom before I leave. Another night as a no life freak, another weekend reading comic books and watching music videos. What fun!
The bathroom lights flicker as I walk past the urinals. I hear laughter and see 5 or six guys standing around. The place smells weird… sweet and smoky at the same time. I see the guys passing something. It’s a joint. It’s pot.
Private party geek,” one big guy says. And I think he might kill me, he says it so gruff.
You like apples?” I ask and he nods, “Well I ain’t leavin’. How do you like them apples?” I don’t know what I am saying and perhaps it is the weed smell talking for me but I am glad I have stood up for myself. I am scared too. This guy is 800 pounds of muscle and he could crush me in one swipe.
He looks at me weird and just busts a gut. He starts laughing really hard and the other guys do too. I really hope that is a good laugh of acceptance and not the sort of laugh that is used directly before a homicide is committed.
It must be good because they pass me the joint and without even thinking I am taking a puff. I gag as my throat catches fire. I wheeze as my lungs get full. I belch as my pizza tries to exit and I feel the room start to sway.
I have done it. I am connected. I am part of everything. I can feel a lady breathing a half a mile away. I can feel crickets jumping somewhere in a forest in Asia. And suddenly I am laughing as I watch it passed back and forth between us. It is too funny how easy it was. It is too funny how I missed something so simple. Simple things are always wasted on me.
Me and Barry and the guys we meet here every week for a month. I get high. I have friends. People like me… well Barry does. I finally have a friend.
Everything is wicked cool. My life totally rocks. As long as you don’t count my dropping grades and Mary refusing to talk to me. I don’t get girls. Either they like you or they don’t. They shouldn’t pretend to like you and then dump you if they think you have one habit they don’t like.
So we are having a real party and I am smoking away the memory of Beth or Mary or whatever her name was. We are laughing and I am so excited to be here with these guys, with MY friends… real friends… my real connected friends.
Someone walks in and I want to yell private party. Instead it comes out “Apple monkey” and all the guys laugh but they are not laughing for long. Luigi is standing in the door. He owns Prime Pizza and behind him is a cop.
How could he? I feel betrayed. We keep him in business. Our money keeps him open. How could he call a nasty, uptight pig?
Barry drops the joint and we all stand like giggling ice-burgs. The cop is followed by other uniformed zombies and we are led out one by one. I am scared and I guess Barry is too. His pants are stained with urine suddenly.
I am sitting in the cell now. I am offered my phone call again. I refuse again. I can call my dad but he will literally beat the pus out of me. That’s why they divorced. I don’t think I want to end up bloody.

I should call my mom. She is so sweet and loving… as gentle as a lamb. If I call her she will cry. If I call her I will see that look in her eyes, that look of disappointment. I could never bare to break her heart that way. Who can I call? There is no one. No one will understand this monkey on my back. Well who would you call? No. I don’t know either. 

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Dyslexia, literacy and art lessons!
In my opinion short stories are a dying breed. I prefer to write short stories because I prefer reading short stories to reading novels. Sometimes when I see how long a novel is I get over-whelmed. In the time it takes me to get to chapter 5 of a book, I have read 8 short stories. That makes me feel accomplished! On that note I will post an original, unedited story from my book, tomorrow! So be there or be cylindrical! LOL

So what's going on with me? I am teaching art now as well as writing! My student's name is Ron and he is a very nice man! He learns quickly and listens well. He is so excited that I am actually afraid to let him down as a teacher. I'll do my best!

I feel pretty good about teaching Ron to paint. I think teaching is so very fulfilling! He it is said never goes any where much any more. Also we have something in common... we are both disabled. I am happy to help him get out of the house a bit and by reaching out to him he helps me feel.... blessed. Because it shows me that I can still contribute and that I have value.

Basically that is my topic today. In AA we say, “If you don't give it away, you can't keep it!” This is very true. Always, ALWAYS pay it forward! The blessings you receive in return are always innumerable. If God has freely blessed you with something.... then find a way to give that gift of joy to someone else.

When ever I am stuck in the tedious reels of the negative people in the world I try to Pay it forward.... why? Because it stops the old reels of negative thinking. This is a very important life skill. If everything is going wrong, falling apart, leaking at the seams that is when I show another person kindness and the rewards are endless! On this note, I am thinking that when the books come out I might like to use them to promote literacy!

I was thinking I would take them to schools and set up competitions. That way kids get extra credit and my name gets out there. What ever keeps them reading is very positive. I have dyslexia but I absolutely adore books! It took a long time for that to happen. Tell you a little story....

I was terrible at reading when I was young.... simply horrid. In those days however there was no dyslexia. A parent would hear:
not applying herself
can't stay on task
Well yes my grand parents heard all of those things but as hard as they worked with me I simply could not read longer words! Just couldn't! Flash cards, Dick and Jane, studying until 1 in the morning had not fixed me. They were ready to resign themselves to the fact that I had better bulk-up because manual labor might be the only career for me.

By 7th grade I had immersed myself in art. It seemed to be the only class in the entire world that had no books in it. I could sort of hide out in art class and earn an easy credit. It seemed like solid logic at the time. (Shut up I was 12!)

But one day to my absolute horror I found out that in art you learn history and vocabulary. I watched, fear creeping up in my gut as the art teacher wrote vocabulary word after vocabulary word on the chalkboard. She asked some of us to read the terms so they could be defined and discussed. Damn her why would she betray me like that? I thought … and I literally felt the knife twist in my back when she said, Angel read the next word.

Mortified I looked at the board:
rpape chmae

I saw those letters but it made no sensible word to me. It was written in hieroglyphics. I blinked my eyes:
rmaapp aheae

Oh God! The kids are laughing! They are calling me names in whispers. I have to pee. I'm going to vomit. How much time until the bell? I want to die.

“Spell it.” Mrs. Renard instructed. Barely able to speak I said,”repap chmae.” She asked me to sit down and to stay after class.

You're the art teacher, I've seen you go through garbage cans to find milk cartons for class. We are the geeks of the school. We stick together right? Please don't call my parents, they already know I'm stupid.

To my great surprise she had kept me after class and told me simply, “Draw a circle.” So I did.

“Now dear fill it with dots. Darker on one side, lighter on the other. More dots make dark, less dots make light.”

I did that and she kept me after the next day proclaiming quietly, “draw a square.” Then she repeated the directions from the day before. We did these exercisers for over a month. It must have strengthened my eyes. In one semester I went from a 3rd grade reading level to an 8th grade reading level! You literally could not keep a book out of my hands!

Oh and the dots... they get a happy ending too because I learned to do this:

Dear readers,
I wrote this book to help open disscusion between parents and their children on some possibly otherwise uncomfortable topics. Among the topics discussed are suicide, teen sexuality, divorce, abuse and sexting among others. As a parent, I believe that any parent who believes that their child is “above it” takes the dangerous chance that their teen may become a statistic.

My book entitled “Snapshots from Home” is a collection of stories, written in the form of micro-minis. In other words, each story will be six or less pages in its entirety. This book was written about real issues that face teens today. It is blunt to the point of being haunting. As a writer I feel that stories should be haunting. That is because I personally find that it is only when I am haunted that I try to rectify a situation. In addition, .I attempted to create each story in such a way that the reader not only gets emersed in the issue at hand, but is also left to feel as if they just had a conversation with a friend in trouble and actually wants to help resolve that issue.

. Being able to trust each other enough to communicate is usually what helps us resolve our problems.. I am sincerely hoping that through this book I might be able to give kids a few tools to do that with. Because feelings of isolation and of being misunderstood tend to be the thing that gets kids into trouble. Whereas, the words, “I am not alone” are quite empowering.

I wanted to write short stories all my life, but I was far too long-winded. It took me years to get to the point where I was in a place to actually just tell the story instead of chasing rabbits. What gave me the idea for this story collection was believe it or not... eavesdropping. Let me explain.

My daughter never strayed far from the living room, as I have a disability and she worries too much. So every day I would set out a huge buffet of snacks so that when she brought her friends home they would stay a while. This worked beyond my wildest dreams. I must have had thirty kids a day in my living room. Perhaps it was a bit tasteless, but I eavesdropped on a lot of conversations. I found that most of my daughter's friends either felt they couldn't talk to their parents or were clueless as to how to broach the subject that they were having trouble with.

This gave me the idea to write a book that kids or parents could use to open a disscusion, without implying that they themselves had done something wrong. Why? Because these teen conversations showed me that kids aren't bad. They are just as curious now as they were when they were three. Most, in the end, did not go to their parents. I wanted so to find a way to comfort them and answer their questions.... and the next thing I knew, I was writing!

This book is written from the veiw-point of troubled teens. I tried very hard to be empathetic enough to put myself in the place of the character. To me that is the only way that these stories would become real to the reader and very easy to utilize. A writer friend of mine, Bear Jones, had already been published and helped me to “get to the point”. This was very important as I know most kids really don't like reading anything too long. I extend my heart-felt personal gratitude to him. And I hope the reader will as well.

If you are still thinking, “Not MY kid”, lets look at a few statistics. Did you know that one in five teens has used illegal drugs? By the 8th grade 29.5 percent of adolecents have consumed alcohol. Each year one in four teens will contract a sexually transmitted disease. We as parents have an important choice to make with our kids every day of every year. We can condemn them OR we can try keeping the lines of comunication open. At these staggering and veritably terrifying rates, even if it's not your child... then it is someone they're talking to at school.

Every one of the teens that I allowed to read one of these, as I was writing, liked what they read and found something that they could relate to. They especially liked how short the stories were. As one young man said, “If it's too long then it's homework. And I ain't trying to do no homework.”
In my life I have discovered two great truths! The first is that we are never too young to end up in trouble. The other is that we are never too old to lend a helping hand. That is the reason I wrote this book, in order to extend my hand to you and yours. And I sincerely hope it helps!

Thanks for listening,

Angel Dunworth

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Comedy and Contests!!!!

Alpha Wolf Publishing
Want to help pick a topic for our upcoming book contest? Please go here...

I think the contest they are having is pretty cool. You get to vote on the kind of things you like to read, like romance or comedy or what have you. That's cool because it challenges us as writers and it lets us know what's popular too... go ahead and enter. You could win free stuff.

Oh my, did I mention comedy? It was apparently a popular post, so because you've been so good I shall try my hand at some more. But remember please I am not mainly a comedic writer. I normally write for teens and soldiers.

(Got a collection of poems, an essay and also some illustrations archived to go into the Vietnam Museum whenever they get it finished!) Did I fail to mention that my family is military? Yes most of them have served.... and for those of you serving now in this terrible war... Thank you from the bottom of my soul!

So let's try to make you smile. Shall we?

Things I need explained!
1. If a vampires can't see their own reflections then why don't they all have beards?
2. Why does contraceptive jelly taste so bad on toast?
3. Why do we use powerful chemicals around the house to kill mold and then serve cheese?
4 Why is it that cigarettes are sold in the front of the pharmacy but medicine for sick people is in the back?
5 If ninjas are invisible then how they get dressed?
6 Why won't they make “O” M&M's so I can spell out “Meow?”
7 If people who like video games are called “gamers” and people who like boats are called “sailors” then why isn't a lazy office temp called a “bad temper”?
8 If laughter is the best medicine then why doesn't my doctor prescribe stand-up comedians?
9 If an apple a day keeps the doctor away... then why are tomatoes lighter, and easier to throw?
10 If Jack Black and Forrest Gump had a baby, would it be called a Black Forrest?

True Story from kindergarten

I was teaching the class about the five senses but since we were having Shark Week, I was using a shark in a lesson as part of the curriculum is making comparisons. The conversation went something like this:
Me. OK class so when a shark tastes something what part of his body does he use?
Class: his mouth!
Me: Very good! If he wants to see something what part of his body does he use?
Class: Eyes
Me Very good! Now when we touch something or feel something we use our hands, but a shark doesn't have any hands so how do you think he feels?
At that moment little Katy in the front row piped up and shouted, “Really bad!”

That's my side of it!


Monday, September 2, 2013

Escaping Domestic Violence

So hey guys... my new book (due out in Feb) “Snapshots From Home” Is a collection of micro-mini short stories about real issues that face kids today. I will post one for free later so that you can get a taste... but remember it will be the original unedited version. However abuse comes in so many forms that I thought wouldn't it be nice to post an issue that sadly faces many women? Like domestic abuse? So I have here a “helpful hints” for escaping domestic violence and I really pray that it helps someone!

Escaping an Abusive Marriage (How to)

First a resource:

To all of you abused spouses out there, don't lose hope. It can be done. I know I've done it. But leaving an abusive marriage is usually not an over-night thing. Be prepared for this to take weeks or even months.
The first rule of escaping an abusive marriage is the same as the first rule of business. Failing to plan AND planning to fail are basically synonyms.

I understand what it is to resent it when people say, “Well why don't you just leave?” That is really easy to say. Is that person going to put a meal on your table? Is that person going to take your kids to the pediatrician without him knowing? Is that person going to clothe you? Shelter you? Care for your infirmaties? No. So basically it just feels like a huge cop-out.

I know. I KNOW how over-whelming leaving is. I know the fear that he has taken so much of you away that you are afraid that he has erased just enough of you that you will never be able to leave. Yes I understand completely. So the second rule is this... if you think you can or you think you can't you're probably right. Attitude plays a huge role.

I don't care much for Whoopie Goldberg yet she is like an idol. It is not from her career that she derived that position in my life. It was from an interview I saw, she said (about her career) “I never worried what I had to do. I only asked myself what I could get done today.” That is hugely important. Don't get over-whelmed. It doesn't take a miracle. It takes baby steps and careful planning.

The first thing you will need is the cheapest disposable phone you can find. Put in this phone only one number. That phone number should be one and only one contact. It needs to be someone you trust and preferably someone he doesn't know. Keep it turned off and the best hiding place is your bag of kotex as he is very unlikely to look there. This phone is going to be your best resource soon.

WARNING: Do not rely on shelters or govt. programs to support you. Many take time to get that you don't have. Some require a legal divorce finalization before you can receive them. Also these leave a paper trail that is easy to trace. You are going to need a safe hiding place for a while. A little known fact is also shelters for domestic violence usually need police and hospital reports before they will take you, which most women won't have because seeking help will set him off again. BUT women's shelters are still a very viable tool! They have all kinds of resources they can make available to you anyway. Some can put you on a waiting list for an asset. Where I was they had had a farm... you did not need police reports for but there was a 3 month wait. When he is at work use your track phone to call shelters to find these resources. Do not use your regular cell as this leaves a trail even if it is pay as you go with no contract.

So if there are not govt. programs you can rely on financially how do you sustain a living? Do you have kids? Some people that are hiring nannies will allow your kids to live with you and rather then pay you will give you room and board. At least that's a roof. Also as a nanny your taxes are paid by you which means no paper trail until the end of the year. This gives you a year to get back on your feet, learn a trade or whatever.

Also if you have a name on a joint savings account, on the day that you leave (and not before) visit the bank. Have not just your debit card, carry also your ID and wedding certificate. Instead of walking straight up to the teller, sign your name and sit down as if you are looking to refinance. This is very important... WAIT for a female representative. You have lived years in a relationship that proved how over-powering men can be. Now it is time for you to understand the strength of women. Other women will become your biggest asset. (Some of them are abused too remember.) Tell her discreetly of your situation. She will let you know how much you can withdrawal and probably not call your husband until the next business day. However this money is not a cushion. It will run out quickly so it is time to try to learn to live again.

It is important not to rely on friends that drink a lot. Why? Loose lips sink ships! Alcohol loosens the mouth and allows too many confessions for you to be safe with. Also do not rely on an extra-marital affair to “rescue you.” No one is going to rescue you. It is time to do the hard thing as you may get to his house.... and he may decide you didn't look as pretty now as you did when there was no danger of commitment.

Well you are probably asking yourself, how do we pack without him noticing? Gradually. What we did was to thin out the wardrobe of things we didn't wear often. These clothes went into a garbage bag. We said something like, “She wants an allowance. So I told her taking out the garbage would be her responsibility.” He bought this without question. So the garbage bag with the white tie went in the dumpster. The garbage bag with the yellow tie went to the neighbor who agreed to keep our things until a friend with an unutilized garage could drive over and pick them up. By her storing things in her garage I did not pay for storage... and again, no paper trail that he could trace.

Now you receive every day important documents that you can not do without such as school notifications, bills ongoing child support checks from previous marriage etc. How do you get these by post without him receiving notification of where you just went? EASY.... explain to the post office official you need a change of address and explain your situation... there's a form. Best to go outside your neighborhood post to do this. Your neighbors let your secret out unknowingly with simple gossip. IE “Did you see Mary filling out change of address? Are they moving?” The best advocate you will ever receive is the following rule, “Do not whisper in private what you don't want shouted from rooftops.” Right now secrecy is your best friend. The more people who know, the more likely he will find out.

When do we make this flight to freedom? That depends on him actually, more then you would think. My ex spent a private vacation every year. We spent those 2 weeks getting boxes too large to smuggle out in clear view.... telling neighbors it was donations for one of our charities. We knew when he came home it would be his employer's longest day of the year. We choose that day to flee, keeping calm and keeping the cellphone on to answer his calls. Once we got to where we were going, that phone went in the trash and my tracphone came out of its hiding place.

Remember the less people you tell the likelier your secret remains a secret. I had my most trusted contact in my tracphone call worried friends and family 2 days after my departure and inform them that “Yes I was all right. But no I would not be calling and nobody knew where I was.”. Any messages came through my sponsor and were relayed that way.

A lovely thing my friend did for me was to organize other abused women in the community for me to talk to. One woman had a good job but times were hard. She pretended a pay-cut to keep a job at a failing company and at least keep some money coming in. Her husband did hit her that night but the story was believable so he let it go. She was able to store up enough money in a separate account that then she was able to flee with her kids.
If you are penniless and need to leave the state immediately some bus lines and train stations are sympathetic enough to lend you one-way tickets with the understanding that when you get to the refuge on the other side someone you know will pay the ticket, whether you have a credit card or not. In AA I hear there is always a couch available. Also some companies will hire an abused woman seeking refuge and food because it looks pretty good on that employer.

If he has locked up your social security card from you and your birth certificate you can always apply for another. Write snail mail (info that he can hack from your email is now a no no) to the hospital where you were born leaving them your new address.

If you have important documents that you need to get out and can not smuggle, hide them in plain sight. Buy a new wastepaper basket, crumple them up, buy some potato chips, empty the bag and throw them on top with a few emptied and thoroughly dried water-bottles. Most men won't bother to go through the trash cans.

In the coming weeks food is still important although straying from a hiding place might not be an option. As you shop in the coming moths before your departure buy dry goods, can goods, dry milk etc. Here and there a few small items that won't be noticed. If you are unable to smuggle these out or hide them in an abandoned suitcase, then the solution is simple... church is having a food drive. Place them in a box to be moved by the mailbox tomorrow. Most men won't even ask.

There are many grants and very short school times out there for degrees if you need one. Good Will industries have what is called, “Good Careers Academy.” They might be a resource you may want to look into. If this is not an option for you, try calling your local 3 digit help line... usually 211.

If you need to leave this very second my advice is don't dawdle. Call the police, ask for protection and get out now. Otherwise you are teaching him it's okay to treat you that way. And believe me your children ARE learning that too.

One more rule my mentor taught me that will go a very long way... leap and the net will be there. Faith goes a long way and will last much longer and stronger then any other asset you've got. Give yourself a chance. You DO deserve it.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

The writing tips I wrote yesterday were a bit of fun. So I will write a few more here and there over the time space it takes me to actually finish this blog! I am very excited about my book, “Snapshots From Home” right now!

I am so silly. The release date is set for February and I kept thinking, “Well that's forever!” I felt like a kid waiting for Christmas, can't sit still. Wiggle. Squirm. “How many more days is it? Until it occurred to me to in my infinite wisdom, look at a calender! Then I realized February is really NOT 365 days away! Not even half of that! LOL

That put me in a good mood, however, some days I will just have to speak out. Please do not mistake this for a rant or pity pot. OK?

Having a disability is made much harder for the disabled because … sometimes other people make us invisible. What I am talking about here is … well look around you. How many wheelchair ramps do you see? If you live in a state where there is a “grandfather clause” as I do, you will not find many. TRUTH.... the place I bought my wheelchair had no ramp. It sure had a helluva lot of stairs though. No elevator. During the course of your day, look around and think to yourself, “If I had a wheelchair how would I easily fit it in (fill in the blank.)

You would probably be amazed to learn how many stores have aisles stuffed so full of displays and merchandise that my wheelchair doesn't fit. These stores lose a lot of my potential sales simply because I as a consumer can not view the products!

Women with strollers do not necessarily have a disability. In fact they are blessed! Yet some mall parking lots, must think that that is a disability because half of the hand-capped spaces have been converted into mommy- and me spaces. That would be fine IF there were still the same quantity of hand-capped spaces.

I'll do you one better... my husband and his family took me to the best restaurant in town. There was no hand-capped booth. Also just for my own understanding... why is it that some places have the lock on the hand-capped booth higher then an arms reach from the wheelchair? Did someone think we were going to stand-up to lock it?

Now honestly this was not in any way meant to offend any one. It was not a rant either. I just wanted you to see life for one moment from my level. Oh and by the way, we DO mind if you stare... We DON'T mind if you ask.

Just a little view of what it is to be me really. I don't want to come off as angry because I'm not. Actually I am probably the silliest screw-ball you ever wanted to meet. I love a good joke and tend to poke fun at everything. So in that vein I will write something silly to lift you:

To do:
1. Sue the upstairs neighbor for invading your airspace.
2.. Answer every question at a job interview with, “I know you are. But what am I?”
3. Convince your friends that you have adopted a son. When they ask to meet him tell them they can't see him... HE IS NINJA!
4. When the telemarketers call try to sell them something!
5. Refer to yourself in every sentence as “The One” (In example, “The One is eating now.”)
6. (For men only) Go to the doctor and insist that you're pregnant.
7. When strangers knock on your door in order to convert you to their religions, try to convert them to “The Holy Following of the Sacred Cabbage”
8.Dress your pet hamster up in drag, when your friends ask tell them, “He's going through some things.”
9.Walk into an organic grocery store and ask the grocer to point out which tomatoes are organic and which were made on assembly lines.
10. Hold a bottle of ketchup to your neck and scream, “When condiments attack!”
DISCLAIMER: No actual tomatoes or condiments were harmed during the writing of this blog!

That's my side of it!
Angel xxoo
#wheelchair #humor #tomatoes #thingstodo #alphawolfpublishing