Another death

Someone I love is dying. Leaving memories and ghosts like stray ashes. And you can say she's neurotic, even strange. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter to those of us with PTSD what names you throw out there. We've obviously had bigger dragons to slay then listening to the petty and shallow flip-flopping of your opinion.




What happened to me in a previous relationship, another lifetime, nearly was clear-cut psychological abuse. Oh there was also emotional, spiritual and financial abuse, but this isn't about me. Maybe it is only about how another abused woman with PTSD was of service. I wouldn't be talking to you right now otherwise. Truth be told, I'd be dead.




See somewhere along the way God, He, It placed an angel of mercy in my path. This woman's daughter was that angel of mercy. With a foreclosure, no job , her husband had left her in a mess with 3 children to feed, yet this woman opened her home to us. Our safety meant more to her than a meal, electric bill or luxuries.




Though I had fled and rightfully so, I felt such insurmountable guilt. Yes he'd betrayed me in every way imaginable. But at the time the fact that I betrayed him back, it some how made me wrong, vengeful, even petty. And suddenly I was sitting with this older lady, every night.




Every night, Lily would tell me her horrendous stories, each had a fairy-tale ending. She'd escaped her abuser. She'd raised her children. She'd successfully become her own person. Independent, kind and financially sound, all of this she'd accomplished. And to her the great and merciful quality of her children's personalities was that one thing. The only accolade she'd ever required was the legacy of love that carries on in her children and her children's children.




Let it be said that she lived too fiercely, prayed too insistently and loved too mercifully. But never let it be said that she amounted to too little. Her grace lives on within the eyes and souls of her children and grand children. If you wish to meet her, simply look into their eyes.






Go with God, lady. You earned it more than most.