Sorry I went missing

Our AC has died... please play taps. Water everywhere! Thems the brakes!

Also I've been offered a regular co-host spot! AHHHHH!

So today to make up for going awol... something silly. An excerpt from Real Live Dead Things... the utmost in much stupid! lol

Interview with the Author Ghast Lee Spirits and Illustrator Emma Idiot

Reporter: Hi, I'm Cheese E. Hair reporting tonight for the WRUN. Tonight, we are broadcasting a live report from the little known local cemetery / Karaoke bar … Zom. B Cafe. I am truly honored to be the only reporter to land an interview with the famous, yet reclusive, author Ghast Lee Spirits and his commemorated illustrator, Emma Idiot. Good Evening. My first question is for you, Ghast. Your press release says that you're famous, yet I've never heard of you. Can you explain why?

Ghast Lee: Oh, sorry. Uh, yeah... that'd be a misprint.

Reporter: Oh, I see. What was it meant to say?

Ghast Lee: Infamous, and Emma here isn't commemorated. That's a typo as well.

Reporter: So it should read?

Ghast Lee: Combustible. No one can hold a candle to her.

Reporter: Ah! That's very punny!

Ghast Lee: No, it's true. She used to work in a gas station. Until they found out she was drinking on the job.

Reporter: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Alcohol ruins a lot of lives.

Ghast Lee: Oh ,she wasn't liquored up. She was drinking straight from the pumps.

Emma Idiot: It's true. Low Octane is very important for my ghoulish figure. But it doesn't work well with a fiery personality. (explodes)

Reporter: Um, that's the most terrible thing I've ever seen.

Ghast Lee: That's just cuz you've never heard her get tanked and sing her karaoke version of YMCA.

Reporter: Yes, that does sound awful. So, what gave you the idea to become a writer / bar owner?

Ghast Lee: I used to be a ghost writer in college, but I wanted to evolve into full-blown author … which reminds me, have you seen the price of C4 lately? Ugh. Anyways, I started the bar as an afterthought. After I thought about how much I like freshly pickled brain, it just seemed the natural course of action.

Reporter: Yes well... um. That's very different. Well, why don't you tell our viewers a bit about your bar. I see you serve an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Ghast Lee: Well, yes. We serve corn on the cob, corn chips, popcorn, corn bread, and of course corn-syrup-based juice packs.

Reporter: WOW! You must really like corn. (laughs)

Ghast Lee: Well, they say corn fed is better for you. I'm very health conscious. Well, with my health, yours... ah... it's a toss-up.

Reporter: (laughs nervously) Oh my, look at the time.

Ghast Lee: Yeah, just about midnight. Happy hour. Well, for me. For you … uh … it's a toss up. Anyways, about my book...

Reporter: Yes, let's get back to that. What inspires you as an author? What really gets into your heart and soul?

Ghast Lee: Unfortunately, it's usually a stake...

Reporter: OH! Well, I seem to be having camera troubles. Time to go.

Ghast Lee: NO! I get three more questions! I'm an open grave... um … book. I'm an open book... ask away.

Reporter: Okay! Um, favorite song?

Ghast Lee: Love Bites

Reporter: Of course… um … pet peeve?

Ghast Lee: Well, most people call my pet peeve a hell hound, but I just call him Spot. He can dig up skeletons faster than anyone around. And that includes political candidates!

Reporter: Um. Well, isn't that unsettling!? Favorite color?

Ghast Lee: I bet you think I'm going to say blood red or black, but my favorite color is green. It reminds me of mom.

Reporter; Aww, how sweet! Your mother had green eyes?

Ghast Lee: Well no... but after the accident in her organic hemlock garden, she developed a lovely tinge.

Reporter: Oh... well … um... that's very sentimental. We really have to go now. CUT!

Ghast Lee: Why do they always run away like that? I was going to invite them to dinner.