Going for Broke

My little company is going to be bankrupt in less than 3 months. There was the trouble of my benefits being canceled and so our entire life savings went to my meds and doctors. I was feeling pretty crappy about it (all while knowing full well that most companies take about 5 years to show any real turn-over) yet I felt as if I had failed on an enormous level. If our Nov. Fair shows no proceeds we will be forced to close entirely.

So feeling this tremendous weight as if I've really never accomplished anything I scrolled FB looking for some silly meme to comfort me. a young man who grew up in my livingroom had posted the FB page of the Highschool that he and Sarah attended. This led to the question of, "I wonder if my highschool ever made one?"

I found it and began to scroll and found myself feeling so much better. The kids who did nothing but drink are still doing so (sadly), the lude heads are still popping pills... and that one guy who was going to live with his mommy until his band took off ... he's still looking for a gig and still living with Mommy. I put it to you that if in 30 years there is still nobody that wants to hear you play ... get a friggin job dude! I am acting the ass, don't worry I am well aware!

Truth is I felt better that they had failed, not because they became failures in a way but because failing is a synonymous part of the human condition.It reminded me that we all fall down along the way. Nobody is successful forever. Failure teaches us to succeed the next time, forces the goal to become ingrained and makes us raise the bar so to speak. We literally have the same chance on both sides of the coin. The higher you climb the further you will fall. We have the exact same  likelihood of winning as we do of losing. The same % if you will.

I may not have accomplished every goal but I  achieved a great deal in my life. Perhaps that was mostly just plain staying sober (no easy feat with 2 family members terminally ill and the horrendous physical pain that is my life normally) but that in itself is to me, miraculous.

I know how to do nothing more than soldier on. So I will run this company and go for broke just the same. Who knows what tomorrow holds? Or what path my Higher Power will put me on next? Life is an apprenticeship. I intend to learn until I've graduated.

That's my side of it,
Angel
www.streetlighthalo.com
www.cheshiregrinpublishing.com