The
Handy Dandy, Nifty, Swifty, Portable, Mobile, Computer- Compatible,
Fix-it-all, One-of-a-kind, Whatchamacallit, Thingamabobby
It
will fix everything in your life … instantly and keep it fixed
permanently! No price is too high, Ladies and Germs, but today only
you'll get it for the basement bargain price of just 50 affordable
payments of $29.95!
But
wait... there's more. If you order now you'll also get to see the
world renown Barnum and Bailey egress at no extra cost to you!
It
is the way that ads are worded that sell the toothpaste, even when
the toothpaste is basically shitty. Now what has put me in such a
strange mood this morning? One of my sisters called last night upset
once more over that, “TOXIC” friend. It reminded me once again of
the famous circus egress attraction that founded a veritable
brightly-colored cash cow.
When
the circus was still in its infancy Barnum, had an awesome idea.
Since people paid mostly for the freak-shows, but instead of looking
and moving on the three-rings were not enough to move customers
through and so the first crowd you got was about the only crowd you
got … which costs a lot of money.
He
posted a sign for his new attraction. This way to see the egress.
Like he said, “there's one born every minute.” He was right. No
one knew what an egress was, but they were quite certain they'd never
seen one. They would rush through the displays hurrying quickly to
see that last, big thrill only to find out that egress means exit.
Why
did this work? Is it because people are stupid? No, there were
dictionaries back then. This worked because people are lazy … most
people even given the chance wouldn't have bothered to walk all the
way to the book shelf, pick up the dictionary and look it up. People
don't want work. People want instant gratification. Sadly, there
really is no such thing. In order to learn we have to put in effort
and the same thing goes for getting proactive and changing a life.
That
one friend who calls repeatedly about the same issue is only calling
you so that you will excuse them from blame, responsibility and work.
They want you to say, “It's not your fault! He's the bastard and
you're nice!” Hence their life becomes his … and ultimately your
responsibility. If you were to say, “Well get a divorce,” that
person wouldn't call. Instead they would think, “Well then I have
to get a lawyer and that could involve, God, I dunno how many phone
books!”
People
buy the crappy toothpaste because a whiter smile will fix it all.
People buy implants because larger boobs will fix their life and
maybe even stop a war! I'm sorry... it won't.
In
AA we say, “If you want what we have,” and lots of people rise.
When we add the part, “And are willing to go to any lengths to get
it,” most people sit back down. The simple thought of how many
flaws we have that we need to change is over-whelming.
I
guess in short, what I am saying is … if you attract people that
are dying of thirst, it's probably because you have water. But if
those people aren't willing to dig the well then they'll be back the
next time they're thirsty. On that note, I think the next time I
encounter someone who won't stop whining but isn't willing to work
towards any change, I'm just going to hand them a tube of crappy
toothpaste.
That's
my side of it,
Angel
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