Christmas
Miracles!!!
Beyond
the troubles of my surgery and all the people who don't want to refer
me to a surgeon, there all all the stresses of the holidays and
financial difficulties. A million little stressors... angry
relatives, shopping malls filled with evil people, it's all been
stress, stress and more stress!
And
so it was that yesterday my husband was rushed to the hospital by
ambulance for chest pains... and I with such nueropathy could not
even go with him. I rushed from one end of the house to the other....
pacing as much as a wheelchair can pace... calling everyone to
pray.... calling everyone to cry.... calling every five minutes to
annoy my daughter with questions of, “Does he have enough pillows?
Does he have enough blankets? Is he okay? Did they feed him?” and
after that breaking down in a zillion pieces and crying all over
again.
I
saw my world destroyed right then and there. I knew he didn't suffer
a heart attack, but it could have been a stroke. I'd lose the only
man I have ever truly loved, my everything, my always, my forever.
New house... expense. New car.... expense. Suddenly every thing every
blessing was washed down for me simply for the fact that he'd had to
pay for it. I felt so guilty that he'd ever had to pay for anything
for some reason. Even the ambulance... expense. Christmas was ruined.
I know it sounds crazy. But that's exactly what I experienced. I'd
give it all back... every last thing.... if only he was just okay.
Just PLEASE GOD let him be okay.
If
he were dead... the Christmas spirit that lives in me every day of
the year... would be buried with him. I swore I would never
remarry... but he was so adorable how could I say No?
A
lovely neighbor and fellow-blogger Jennifer of Jennaspapermoon, kept
me together some how, got me my meds, built me a fire and even
listened for my calls. For this I am so grateful.
Late
last night I got the call, he was on his way home and he would be
just fine. He is home and Christmas has returned with him.
All
those things that we beg for at Christmas, all of those things we
bitch about too, they melt away... just disappear when a loved one is
suffering. So please today... tell all of your Christmas miracles
that you love them!
That's
my side of it,
Angel
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