Welcome to November!!!! I have this
month 23 years... 23 YEARS I said.... clean and sober!!!!! I'm
soooooo excited. I also have my birthday coming up on the 20th.
So I will be totally nutty all month!!!!
So I am making up my birthday list for
anyone looking to know my preferences! I want the following:
1. I want a bottle of those stress
reliever pills... I forget what you call them. Oh yeah.....
Screwitol.
2. I would like 2 of the large spray
cans of Idiot Repellent.
3. I look much better with a smile so
for my cosmetic needs I would like a bottle of Politician Remover
please.
4. I'd like to ask please it's very
important if you're the one that got me nothing last year... I'd like
another so I could have a matching set. (we'll just call them Ninja
Bookends in the future, shall we?)
5. I also want (a bit expensive) one of
those laser tele-marketer removal systems.
6. I don't know if anyone can afford it
but on my house I want an alarm system installed.... not the kind for
burglars though. I want the one that goes off when religious fanatics
knock on my door.
7. I want that specialty shampoo...
that kind that gets bill collectors out of my hair.
8. I would also ask that anyone who
loves a good cause please donate in my name to the foundation working
to cure the very painful to watch Obnoxious Assholeitis Syndrome.
9. I want a book of those grocery store
coupons, that are redeemable for erasing the person in the cash only
line waiting to write a check, and also the kind for that guy who
counts his 20 items by 10s.
10. I would like a pair of those pants
that have the bottom sprayed with dog-sniff repellent.
11. I want one of those little
catapults... you know those mini ones that launch tomatoes at bad
comedians... like myself.... because they haven't unionized yet....
plus they won't teach me the secret handshake.
12. If you are thinking of getting me a
male-stripper.... remember they are easier to gift-wrap if you club
them repeatedly first.
13. I need a new remote for my TV...
one of those that zaps the infomercial guy repeatedly when you press
the button.
14. I want a self-cleaning kitchen.
15. I want a big time record company to
sign the voices in my head for tour dates... so if you can help with
that... much appreciated!
Happy November!
That's my side of it,
Angel
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