SM rant

Really torn

I am thrilled with my new publisher, my editor, my book release (in soft-cover very soon).... I am thrilled with everything. I have the perfect daughter, husband, home, family. God is very kind to me. I have sold 6 books and haven't been out a week. Rival Gates just gave my book and awesome review on his blog and even on Smashwords. You can even read an interview with me on Smashwords. I have the interview with the first church on Tuesday.... I should be on top of the world.

But see I can't fully enjoy much. My disease is not moving slowly now. Aside from the toll it takes on my spine and legs, it causes terrible neuropathy that has happily spread all the way into my eyes. It feels a lot of times like someone is repeatedly sticking needles into my eyes. No matter how many times the eye doc tells me it is just a nerve pressed under the syrinx and that I won't go blind, I still freak out when that symptom hits.

I have needed surgery for 2 years but no one will touch it. If they make one mistake I'm a vegetable. It gets so aggravating. However I believe that God has a reason for everything. Perhaps someone reading this blog will say, “Dude! I have that too. She understands,” and not feel so alone. That is my hope.

If God only gives me what I can handle.... dude I'm a bad ass! Lol

That's my side of it,

Angel