Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned on FB

Everything I Ever Needed to Know I learned on FB

I have to admit first that I had been searching for a meaning to my life for a while. I was becoming increasingly a sad sack. Now however I am happy to report my life and mind-set are cured entirely. My unlikely savior? Face Book. In the midst of my depression I cam across a meme on FB. It had a lovely philosophical saying, “When life hands you lemons... add Vodka.” I had my answer. I was able to start drinking at every opportunity. It fixed everything... but then the detox program charged me what little I had had left of my savings. And since I got fired for drinking on the job... they repossessed my liver.

Again I was sad and feeling incomplete. I returned again to my Temple of Social Media as it were. Another meme dictated that I should think of all things in a more positive way... and the absolutely breath taking picture of a totally unrelated topic inspired me greatly. It made me a better person instantly. It said that I should just become whoever it was I idolized because they were inspirational for a reason. Along side of that was a picture of a cute puppy. I had found my answer... sadly... it didn't work out. Did you guys know that identity theft is a crime?

So after I finished serving my time I was ready to start a new life. I was ready to find my mate and settle down. I was at a loss on how to do exactly that. I searched my beloved internet for the answer to my prayers. The next meme I saw solved my romantic problems! It insisted that the object of my desires wanted greatly to be kissed more, held more and told that they are loved. I was unaware that the opposite sex prefers to know who you are first. Luckily the charges were dropped.

Sadly I found out after that I was dying. I have begun to worry about my immortal soul. But what worries me more is this... when I meet St. Peter will he inform me that I was denied entrance to Heaven because I didn't fwd to 20 people?

That's my side of it,

Angel