Friday, March 28, 2014

Klingon as a Second Language

Stress relief blog...

I hope. Lol because I am so nervous about my event. I have put so much into this that it's a bit like my own formal wedding! And just like in a real wedding the bride needs a sedative just to walk down the aisle in order to keep her from unraveling and screaming at random strangers PMS-ridden madness like, “OMG! Why would you wear that in public?” or my personal favorite, “Is your kid crying because of that terrible hair-cut?”

So before I unravel completely, a silly rant for fun. A little laughter never hurt anyone in any legally binding way IF you read the fine print. Today my lovely rant is at the lack of education in this country... or should I say Higher Education. I have actually seen on the news a report on a college that offers Klingon as a second language. I can see how serious the career path of this student is. He or she wants not only to function in corporate America but won't the executive CEO on Forbes magazine look perfect when they can communicate not with other countries properly, but intergalacticly with fictional characters! Ah, how the Romulains must envy us. The entire universe will be at our command as we in corporate America sit in our padded cubicles and spend invisible money like a politician on crack investing in the new HR and PR bumper-sticker campaign of, “People who don't exist are people too!”

Who thought up this course, found a demographic who required it and decided to charge for it? And who is taking this class? Are these the same people whose level of self-contempt is so high that they sit around preparing legal briefs that they may then sue themselves for defamation? Using as evidence of estrangement, the fact that they haven't talked to themselves in months?

Is it perhaps the guys who when asked if they could hear only one artist preform before they died who would that be, they answered Van Gogh and then stated that they didn't mind if he was tone-deaf now? Are these the same people who in fact have to study the instructions on shampoo bottles every day before they bathe? Are these the kind of people who argue over whether the tracks they see are deer or bear and contemplate it so long that the train runs them over?

Do they truly, deeply care about the treatment of our fictional characters in the work place? Or are they like that one band... you know the guy sings, “Do-wah-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-do'” but you can tell he doesn't mean it! I put it to you that these people don't really care whether or not the Saggy-Baggy elephant ever gets his liposuction. Neither do they care if the Big Bad Wolf is endangered! These so called sages are in fact just weasels! I guess that's okay though, eagles may soar high, but weasels never get sucked into jet-engines!

That's my side of it,
Angel

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