AA
and the black suit
A
serious post because the reality of my disease strikes. Not the SM
that forces me into a wheelchair and threatens to snap my spine and
leave me brain dead, that disease is not the truly serious one that I
speak of now. The much worse disease in my life is... addiction.
I
know what you are thinking... “Oh just put down the bottle and
you're fine. Very easy!” well if you just thought that you are
ignorant of what my disease... the disease of alcoholism and drug
addiction is. A little partying never hurt anyone right? Think again.
The
first thing a good sponsor will tell you is buy a black suit, in here
you are going to need it a lot. That is true we go to a LOT of
funerals in AA. In the rare event that we are lucky the person died
of natural causes while in sobriety... but sadly that is very rare.
Before
I left Florida I attended two different rooms, my home group and the
club. In those two rooms ( in each state we have hundreds of rooms)
in just those two rooms combined over 40 people died... only 3 of
which died in sobriety. The rest went back out. We all want to get
sober. Some of us just run out of time. But make no mistake active
alcoholism or addiction is a terminal disease. This disease will kill
you in the blink of an eye and it doesn't discriminate. If we wish to
show love and give meaning to those tragedies of those who died
drinking and drugging then the only thing left to do is LEARN FROM
THEM. Even they have a lesson to teach you.
We
had a girl about 17 in our home group, she was married with two tiny
children. She and her husband came into the rooms. They had separated
because as a couple they couldn't stop using. She had almost a year
sober. She had found a couch in AA and a grant to go to school. She
was waitressing and doing odd jobs to support her kids that she had
lost custody of. She came to one meeting every day, three if it was
her day off. We were all so proud of her. Somebody even signed over
their old clunker so she could get to school in the next county. The
week before she was supposed to have her kids signed back it was her
birthday. Well she decided to celebrate.
One
drink was all it took to restart the addiction. They found her body
the next day. She had been gang raped, gagged, bound and her body
thrown in a dumpster and set on fire. Her blood alcohol level was
three times the legal limit. She was just a little girl. I believe
her kids would want you to respect her. If you do... learn from her.
Everyone
in this world has something to teach you. It is hard to feel all
alone. The only way around that is to learn their lessons... all of
their lessons... even the ugly lessons. So my prayer is this:
1.
Learn from them and
2.
that you never have to take out your black suit or have someone take
theirs out for you.
That's
my side of it,
Angel
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