Meds or Drugs

Okay so today I am rocking out to, “Lips like Morphine” and waiting for my doctor to call and hopefully give me another option for my nueropathy and pain other than opiates... but since it's spreading so fast there may not be another option. My neuropathy has spread to the skin around my eyes and as consequence it feels always as if there are needles in my eyes and that freaks me out.

So instead of fussing any more. I called my sponsor and he informed me that if Rxed by a doctor and taken by label instructions it is NOT considered a relapse. I will get someone in my family to dispense whatever I am given as a safe-guard but it is good to know that even an addict does not have to suffer a terrible and maddening disease simply because they are an addict. You see that is the difference between meds and drugs, and that difference is vast.

Were you also aware that as a med they are able to remove the part of the drug that causes the feelings of “high” and “Low?' after a little research I found out that medical marijuana is not at all like partying... as a matter of fact it is a pill. That is very important to me because if I had to think of, “Wow now I have been sober long enough to handle it,” OR “Wow! Remember when me and my friends were having so much fun,” I would relapse before I’d even gotten the Rx filled.

They say the further you are from your last drink the closer you are to your next drink. I totally get that. As soon as I start believing that there will come a day when I can, “drink like a gentleman,” is the day I lose it all. That day will never come. I will always have an allergic reaction and a mental obsession with drinking and drugging once I start using. We are never cured. There is no cure. Science may one day accomplish this, but it has not done so yet. But rest assured if there was a pill that cured drug use, I as an alcoholic would take four of them.

So all of this is a bit heavy for me to deal with but perhaps that is just the pain and the unknown talking. I know my doctor and I know he is not going to intentionally administer something that would make me relapse. (in AA there are varying opinions of how meds should be handled, I am only giving you mine. I would never assume to speak for an entire program.)

That's my side of it,

Angel